


Healing

by florapaw



Category: Star Stable
Genre: F/F, i just love my dumb sso avatar sm, i make alex sadder and she does Not deal with her feelings, my oc is shoved in there a little too much, player character oc included, set after saving anne quest, she n alex r just trying to heal guys, slight canon divergence??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23259388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florapaw/pseuds/florapaw
Summary: Anne has been saved, Elizabeth is dead, and Linda watches as Alex struggles with it all.
Relationships: Linda Chanda/Alex Cloudmill
Kudos: 8





	Healing

**Author's Note:**

> bro we really out here getting sad over a dumb horse game

Alex Cloudmill was, by all accounts, not okay.

Linda could see that, and she was sure the other Soul Riders could see it too. What should have been a joyful reunion with Anne had suddenly turned with the death of Elizabeth. The newest Soul Rider – a small, quiet girl named Nancy – had explained what had happened in Pandoria when Alex couldn’t find the words to do so herself.

It had been five days since then, and while Alex had since apologised for what she had done, for causing Elizabeth’s death, she still hadn’t accepted their attempts to lessen her feelings of guilt.

And it hurt Linda to her very core to watch.

Anne had fallen back into pace with the Soul Riders; finding her footing easily, although readjusting to life back in Jorvik was slow-paced. Lisa was helping her as much as she could, allowing herself to help Anne while Linda was preoccupied with Alex. Nancy had disappeared, but that wasn’t cause for concern. The newest member in their little group had a habit of disappearing for days on end, and the loss of Elizabeth and the fact that she and Alex hadn’t been talking as much since the incident (both of them too stubborn to admit lingering guilt over Elizabeth’s death) wouldn’t have helped.

So Linda waited to pick up the pieces. Alex would surely crack soon.

“Hey, Alex.” Linda asked, gently nudging the other girl with her elbow. Alex, who had been in seemingly deep thought, jumped at the touch.

“Oh. Huh?” She responded blankly; her eyes glassy with stifled tears. “Did you say something?”

Linda took in a sharp breath. “It’s just Elizabeth’s memorial today.”

There was a flash of alarm that passed through Alex’s expression momentarily. Linda felt the incredible need to fix the situation. “If you aren’t feeling up to it today, you can go another time.”

Alex shook her head firmly. “No. I’m fine.” Her sharp tone was thick with unresolved emotion. “I’m going.”

Neither of them spoke as they painstakingly made their way through tacking up their respective horses. Meteor and Tin-Can were quiet. Both could feel the tension surrounding their riders. The ride to Doyle’s Abbey was silent.

Linda looked back, unsurprised to see that Alex was completely zoned out, with her trusted horse leading the way by himself.

“Alex.” Linda called, just loud enough to gather her attention. Alex did look up, tear tracks already coursing down her cheeks. Linda slowed, and Meteor immediately fell into step with Tin-Can. Reaching over towards her friend, Linda took Alex’s hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s okay,” She soothed. “It’s okay to feel upset.”

“No, it’s not,” Came Alex’s frantic reply. “I can’t feel bad. I _killed_ Elizabeth.”

“You didn’t kill-“

“No,” Alex insisted. “It _was_ my fault. I just- I went right in to Pandoria without thinking about it and Elizabeth was only trying to save my own dumb ass and then she _died_.”

Linda squeezed Alex’s hand again, this time a little harder. Linda had seen Alex cry before. This wasn’t something new. But it was different this time, and it was enough to make Linda want to cry too.

Alex raised her other hand from the reins, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. “I can’t believe that she’s dead, Linda. Before she died she- she said she was _proud_ of me.”

Linda blinked. Since Nancy and Alex had come back, neither had gone into detail about what happened inside Pandoria further than _Darko killed Elizabeth_. Hearing what could only have been among Elizabeth’s last words was a huge blow to a wound that was starting to patch itself up.

It wasn’t surprising in the least to hear what Elizabeth’s last words were. Everyone knew how close Alex had been to Elizabeth and vice versa. Of course her last words would be something so honest and personal.

“She was still proud of me, even in that moment,” Alex said, her voice soft and disbelieving. “I can’t believe that she was still proud of me. I wouldn’t have been proud of me.”

Linda gently pulled Meteor to a stop, and Tin-Can stopped too. Linda leaned over, her legs uncomfortably pressed against the saddle, and hugged Alex. Alex shook in her arms. She was never a loud crier, always trying to do so quietly by herself.

“Elizabeth loved you, Alex. You were doing something noble, trying to avenge Anne’s imprisonment. You were not at fault.”

Alex sniffled, returning Linda’s hug, arms wrapped so tightly around her that Linda was worried she’d get pulled out of the saddle. When Alex sat back, tears were still running down her face, but she looked more at peace than she before. She gave Linda a tiny, watery smile.

“Thanks Linda. I needed that.”

The journey to Doyle’s Abbey continued, mostly in silence, but occasionally Alex could be coaxed into talking. Lisa and Anne had already arrived, amongst the other countless people who had turned up to mourn. As they were dismounting, Nancy came hurrying up on her seal brown gelding, flinging herself off the horse, likely in fear that she was late. As the girl headed towards the congregation of people, she paused as she met Alex’s eyes.

Linda waved Nancy over, the brown-haired girl settling in between Alex and Lisa. Nancy and Alex looked to each other wordlessly, but Linda could see the emotion their eyes held. Both of them were united in grief, both of them being the only ones to witness Elizabeth’s death. Slowly, still without a word, Nancy extended her hand to Alex, uneasily waiting for her next move. After only a moments hesitation, Alex took the other girl’s hand. Linda let out a breath. Everything would be alright.

The memorial started, the Soul Riders standing in one group silently. Linda broke her eyes from the gathering to look at Alex, and feeling her gaze Alex looked back. Just once, very slowly and very softly, Linda placed a tiny kiss on the middle of Alex’s lips, an attempt to comfort the girl in some way. Alex gave her a little smile in return, a simple nod of her head. Her hand was still firmly clasped around Nancy’s.

It would all be alright.


End file.
